How do you live a life that suits you perfectly? And how do you find a partner or men that are able to vibe with you on the same level? Or more specifically, have men in my life that are able to level it the fuck up and can receive all of me. I live very consciously and orchestrate my life in a way that makes me happy and joyful. And I absolute and truly love to share. I love to share my joy, my happiness, love to share drinks, laughs and positivity. I love to share lying at the beach soaking up the sun. I love to do it together in a space of gratitude, oneness and joy. As an addition to each other where 1+1=100000000000…. Just because of who you are.
Honestly I struggle sometimes to find a place on this planet where I fit in. Where I can feel at home and be unapologetically me. Have the 1001 different shades showing up during a week or a day or sometimes in an hour. Someday I go to bed being a completely different me compared to who I woke up as, just because of the experiences I’ve had that day. The miracles and also the shit showing up in life. Someday I feel truly vulnerable and lost. And usually it is because others are not able to receive me in who I am. I am fast, I am dynamic, I am happy, I am sexualness, I am love, tenderness and caring, I am sparkling and intens all at once. It like Alanis Morrisette sang a long time ago.
It hurts when I have all to offer and others are not able to receive me because of their own rules and judgements of me. And judgements can be anything; I look like this, so I must be like that… It can be the bitch me or the perfect girlfriend or the desperate single mom. I am not responsible for the pictures others have of me. But it feels constricting sometimes when people have this idea of me and feel disappointment or shock when I do something different. And believe me… As you may have noticed, I am not your average woman. And I’ve walked into a lot of other peoples walls throughout my life.
It takes courage and discipline not to go into the wrongness of me or the harshness towards the world. I choose to be me and choose to be open to receive the world and all it has to offer. All the good, the bad, the ugly and the beauty. It costs a lot of energy to reject, react and resist to that which doesn’t work for me. I prefer to say ‘Thank you, but no thanks’. And shit… It hurts when someone says ‘Thanks, but no thanks’ to me. I feel rejected and poor. And so it takes courage and discipline to stay with it, without bullshitting others with my hurt. But having respect for their choices and directions in life without making it personal.
So where do I fit in? What is my place here on earth? Who is with me? Who contributes to my life to create an even better life? Who wants to join my adventure? I truly think it starts with me being fully ok and happy with who I am and what I do. When I’m truly being me, truly being all of me, truly having no rejection, doubt, fear or separation of me, I’m an open space inviting others to join me. And with that others have the right to do things exactly the way that suits them. Expectations are truly the mother of all evil. And so a another adventure begins. The adventure of being me without rejections or expectations. Not from a space of fear, but from a space of allowance.
Allowance for life to unfold like it does. And life unfolds through the choices that I make today, this moment. And I choose me. All of me. I commit to being more of me every day after this one. I demand to show up for me and for the phenomenal life I truly know is possible for me. And with that I choose to have space for you. All of you.
Are you ready for another adventure?